O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
