u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
