Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
