She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you still have your period?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
