he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
