wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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