he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
