i just wanna soil my oats bro
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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