he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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