Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
