I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
