some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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