wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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