went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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