At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
