i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
