State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Did we literally take a cab across the street
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
