I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
