i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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