i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
