i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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