I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
