i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
