glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it was like eating out sand paper
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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