I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
