I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
