Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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