i was born a porn star she said
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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