You're my little dorito
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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