the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
