I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
