There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
