I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
