I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
