It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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