I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do herpes really smell.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
