I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
