adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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