i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
All the doctor said was why
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
