i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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