i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
