dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
