who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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