it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
