What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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