question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
