it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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