what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
