Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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