You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
